I have had a recurring

not so much a dream, not so much a night terror (and in fact I don't think any other word but haunting is really accurate) - experience where an electrical current runs through my body and lifts me up to the ceiling, where it pins me there long enough so that I can look down at the darkness below me; then I observe that although terrifying, I seem to be at one with something not good and pure. I say it's not a dream because I'm not fully asleep, but not fully awake. I'm fully aware of what's happening to me and aware that I'd rather get out of it but the process of bringing myself out seems like a battle between two wills, and the only thing that stops it is getting up out of bed, putting myself in some form of light, and leaving the room. Most of the time that stops it, though not every time. Sometimes hours, literally - I've checked the clock - of my sleep are hijacked by this not a dream sort of a but not really nightmare. I guess I do find it comforting, I mean after so many years.

And in this way I create.

Self Portrait I

Officially Bored

But then why wouldn't I be.

So my friend nun, who hates the term 'friend' tells me in her own special way that my pictures are starting to suck. Is that too harsh, she asks? No, I say. You see, if everyone were a bit more honest with each other rather than always participating in the usual mutual admirbation, we might all start to improve as artists and capturers of light.

So she gave me an assignment. A few things have been outlawed as part of that, and they are: the cat (pssst, who can also be found here), the little tim burton doll, and a few other things I won't speak of.

If you're here on this blog, take heed, I am talking to you, too.

More Laguna II

More Laguna

Untitled

In college we were each given a free Corbis account with a limit of 25 images per quarter. I thought to myself that really won't do. Hungry to just have the images on my harddrive I quickly devised the plan to get as many as I could use or want. Within half an hour I had 100. I knew I was tainting myself with greed but I didn't care. Those people's images represented something I didn't have; heart guts and soul. 6 months later I had over 400 images and still no heart guts or soul. I longed to have what they create and although I already had it deep inside, I couldn't wake up from my sleep. So I just trudged on using those images for my own purposes, mostly to design non-commercial, personal web sites or piecing together those images to create parodies of people who exist either in real life or those people I met online. They were a hit but I was still left with the problem of no heart guts or soul. I longed for my own images but it never occured to me once to use a camera.

What happens between the time we are blind and the time we see is a mystery.

Today

New photo's with my new camera.

NOT.

It's the same P.O.S, model number embarrassing. Be sure to enlarge the big flower. It makes me feel like sticking my tongue a lemon merengue pie.

The last of this little guy. I love him and I carry him around with me whereever I go, lovingly taking pictures of him. But he's not my creation and its time to let go..

From nun

This gem came to me via email, from an online friend who doesn't like the term 'friend' at all. I think we can agree her sense of humor rocks.

Top: orignal pic
Bottom: after photoshop - dressed up and ready to go

Self Portrait Doll

Bottom: charcoal
Top: charcoal + photoshop

Of forks and blogs

Surrounded by their closest utensils and ornaments, the couple pose during a wedding rehersal - with actual wedding and reception to be announced, and follow. These two share an interesting, long history.

Best viewed enlarged.

Welcome to My Satanic Blog

Oh ick—green. And that font, it's so big and bulky. Who designed this thing! Green crisis over now.

Excuse the mess while I decorate (and redecorate) the place. That color of green should be outlawed.

Top: Headless Angel

Bottom: this precious bird.

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I need some coding assistance. If you look to the right you'll see my recent post links. They're long and an eyesore. If any of you kind people has the key to shortening those, please comment that to me. Thank you very much in advance.

As promised to Cat, something weird

Middle: Tell me that weird light does not look like a camel? I don't know what it is/was.

Top: Like father, like Daughter.

We interrupt the regularly scheduled phogramming with a purge of disgust—

The other day I was clicking links and when one click led to another, and another, I was taken to a discussion on homeschooling and children, which then led me to another discussion. Actually, where I was led to really wasn't a discussion per se, but a series of web sites upon which the teachings and materials of Debi Pearl's 'To train up a Child' are not only being advocated but defended - in the name of Jesus, no less.

(You can read this post in its entirity here)

Gypsy

Me, roaming the department stores looking at all the nice things I cannot afford. And no, I am really not 'butchy' looking but this picture posted I could not resist.

And me, playing around. Picture taken in a tinted car window.

Rest

I am tired right now, and I haven't got anything new to post. I guess that goes without saying what with the date stamps and all. Maybe I'll post some recent stuff.

Thank you to all those who expressed their glee over some of these pics; the exhange has a lot of meaning to me. I have some technical questions for two of you at some point.

Maui

Another of Maui - these should be clicked-to-enlarge - well I think they should be enlarged, but then again, he's my cat and I am biased. ;)


The world according to Maui
While I am constructing a brand new, home-made pinhole camera, I'll post some images of me and my cat. Here are two of my cat, Maui.

Redemption after banking lines

Today, on my way home from the bank the sky broke open, so I pulled my car over in the no stopping zone, and clicked. The sky here in southern ca is ridiculously gorgeous today.

Untitled

A close up of my favorite tree; I think she's a Birch or a Sycamore. I know I should know that info, but I don't. Whatever she is she's been very good to me, and I believe she loves me back.